Naomi | Lollirot (rottingqueen) wrote,
Naomi | Lollirot
rottingqueen

I'll never understand it all.

I spend my life being good to people.
I go out of my way, even for the most distant stranger.
Eh, why go into this all again . . . Either way.
I am left confused. I don't EXPECT anything in return;
but I don't understand the constant trials.

I'm not worse off then many others, I don't think that.
I don't mean to sound woe-as-me, though on my own blog I assume it's acceptable.
Life is hard for me, though, in it's own way.

My depressions are . . .beyond words of description.
It's to the point I am buckling, and going for help.
I can't keep myself in check anymore.
The anger and then the tears, they are too constant,
too severe and too damaging.

Work is horrible. If I get a shift a week I am lucky, 4 hours or so.
Some weeks I get up to 9 , , , Others, no shifts at all.
I can't live off the $7.31/hr with those types of hours.
And Hot Topic will fire me if I take on another job, like Halloween City.
Which I worked last year for months in and made a killing in.
So I will go back and I will tell HT to fuck off. . .

My parents barely get by, and I can't help anymore because . . .
I barely get by myself. Often I have to get extensions on my bills.
And I only pay a couple . . .

And top it off? I had for months finally been seeing a good, nice boy.
. . . His ex in the picture now, causing Hell.
He feels unready for a relationship, doesn't want this drama on me so. . .
Dumped.

And I was finally happy with another human being . . .
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